Delayed Gratification: What the Marshmallow Test Really Tells Us

A child sits alone at a table. In front of them is a single marshmallow. A researcher explains: “You can eat this now. Or, if you wait until I come back, you can have two.” Then the researcher leaves the room.

Some children eat the marshmallow almost immediately. Others cover their eyes, sing to themselves, kick the table or turn their chair around, doing anything to resist. A few manage to wait the full fifteen minutes or so.

This is the famous marshmallow test, and it has shaped how many people think about self-control. But the full story is more interesting than the version usually told.

The original studies

In the late 1960s and early 1970s, psychologist Walter Mischel and his colleagues at Stanford University ran a series of experiments with preschool children, offering them a choice between a small treat now or a bigger treat later.

Their main interest was how children managed to wait. They found that children who distracted themselves, or who thought about the treat in a “cool” way (imagining the marshmallow as a fluffy cloud, for example), waited much longer than those who stared at it and thought about how delicious it would be.

Years later, follow-up studies found that children who had waited longer tended, as teenagers, to have somewhat better school results and coping skills. These findings became famous, and the test turned into a popular symbol: self-control in childhood predicts success in life.

What later research added

Science moves on, and two newer findings changed the picture.

Trust matters. In 2013, Celeste Kidd and colleagues at the University of Rochester ran a twist on the test. Before the marshmallow task, some children experienced an adult who broke a promise; others experienced an adult who kept one. Children in the “reliable” group waited about four times longer. Waiting, it turns out, is partly a rational decision: it only makes sense if you believe the reward will really come.

Background matters. In 2018, Tyler Watts, Greg Duncan and Haonan Quan repeated the study with a larger, more diverse group of children. The link between waiting and later achievement was much smaller than in the original research, and became smaller still once they took into account things like family background and early abilities.

So the marshmallow test doesn’t show that a few minutes of willpower at age four seals your fate. It shows something more practical.

The real lessons

1. Self-control is a skill, not just a trait

The children who waited longest weren’t simply “stronger”. They used strategies: looking away, distracting themselves, changing how they thought about the treat. Strategies can be learned at any age.

2. Environment beats effort

It’s much easier to wait when temptation isn’t staring at you. Adults are no different: it’s easier not to snack when there are no biscuits on the desk, and easier not to scroll when the phone is in another room.

3. Waiting needs trust

If the future reward feels uncertain, delaying makes less sense. That’s why it helps to make long-term goals feel real and reliable, for example by automating savings so they actually accumulate.

How to practise delayed gratification

• Move the marshmallow. Put tempting things out of sight. Log out of shopping apps. Keep the phone outside the bedroom.
• Use “if–then” plans. “If I want to order food late at night, then I’ll drink a glass of water and wait ten minutes first.” Pre-deciding reduces the fight in the moment.
• Make the future concrete. Instead of “save money”, try “₹2,000 a month into a trip fund for December”. A specific reward is easier to wait for.
• Practise small waits. Wait five minutes before checking a notification. Finish one task before opening a new tab. Small waits build the muscle.
• Reframe the temptation. Like the children imagining a cloud, describe the temptation in plain, cool terms: “This is a notification. It can wait.”

What not to take from the test

• Don’t judge yourself or your children by it. A single moment of impatience says very little about a person’s future.
• Don’t confuse discipline with deprivation. Delaying gratification is about choosing a bigger good later, not denying yourself all pleasure.

Frequently asked questions

Can adults improve their self-control?

Yes. Most improvements come from changing environments and building habits rather than “trying harder”. Strategies like removing temptations and planning ahead work at any age.

Is willpower a limited resource?

The idea that willpower gets “used up” like fuel was popular for years, but large replication attempts have produced mixed results. A more helpful view is that self-control works best when we don’t rely on it alone.

Why do I find it harder to wait when I’m stressed?

Stress and tiredness push us towards quick comfort. That’s why it’s worth setting up good choices in advance, when you’re calm.

A small step for today

Pick one small temptation you’ll face today, maybe your phone, a snack or an online cart, and “move the marshmallow”: put it out of sight or add one step between you and it. Then notice how much easier waiting becomes.

Sources and further reading

• Mischel, W., Ebbesen, E. B., & Zeiss, A. R. (1972). Cognitive and attentional mechanisms in delay of gratification. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 21(2), 204–218.
• Mischel, W., Shoda, Y., & Rodriguez, M. L. (1989). Delay of gratification in children. Science, 244(4907), 933–938.
• Kidd, C., Palmeri, H., & Aslin, R. N. (2013). Rational snacking: Young children’s decision-making on the marshmallow task is moderated by beliefs about environmental reliability. Cognition, 126(1), 109–114.
• Watts, T. W., Duncan, G. J., & Quan, H. (2018). Revisiting the marshmallow test. Psychological Science, 29(7), 1159–1177.
• Mischel, W. (2014). The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control. Little, Brown.